It’s that time of year again when we all make unattainable resolutions and end up disappointing ourselves long before the sun sets on the last day of January! Like all of you, I have been guilty of this most of my life. I have dozens of blank journals I promised myself I’d write in, I have gobs of healthy-eating cookbooks and a pantry full of cookies, I have had gym memberships that went unused, and I keep making the same resolutions every single year!
If it is true that past behavior is a predictor of future behavior then I have succeeded 100% but if I want to actually change I have to do things differently.
Here’s what I know, as a wife, mom, grandmom, therapist, and earthling: we never do anything we don’t want to do and we almost never do the things others tell us we should do. How often have any of us been to the doctor and been told to lose weight only to leave disgruntled and developing the attitude of a surly adolescent?! “S/he can’t tell ME what to do.” Sounds all too familiar, right?
If I’m being honest, I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to accomplish too much every year beginning on January 1st. What?! That’s right!
Too.
Much.
Pressure.
Everyone I know already works too much, does too much, and doesn’t sleep enough. Why add to an already blossoming burden by putting more pressure on ourselves and creating unattainable resolutions?
What if we changed the language we use? Instead of that dreaded stress-filled word - resolutions - what if we called it plans, ideas, or good thoughts? What if we just tried to do a few things, or even a lot of small reasonably attainable things? I think we’d all be less stressed and a smidge happier. We’d feel successful, even with small steps, and we’d look forward to being proud of ourselves and sharing that with others.
This is what I know and what has helped me:
Big resolutions cause big disappointments; Start small.
Social media is the biggest negative time waster that’s ever been invented; Spend your time in happier more productive ways that make you feel good.
Ideas without a plan = failure; Create one or two ideas of things you’d like to change in 2019, then develop a plan of how you’re going to do it.
Ideas in my head do not always come to fruition; Write down your ideas and plans and keep them in a place you will regularly see them.
Your job is not that important and you can and will be replaced one day. We all work but it’s a job, not your life; Do your job and be good at it and when you go home at night be present to the people in your home. That is where your priorities and your life should actually bloom and grow.
Poor sleep habits are linked to additional stress, depression, and anxiety; Sleep between 7-9 hours every single night. It is good for your short and long term health. (Turn off every electronic thing because the artificial light stimulates the brain and makes you feel more wide awake! Yikes!)
My ideas for this year are simple and I hope to tell you in December that I crossed the goal line and achieved every one of them! In the delightful Aesop fable, the tortoise reminds the hare that “slow and steady wins the race.” I agree!
Happy New Year!
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