As many of you know, I am a counselor by day with a full-time private practice that I opened in 2008. People often ask me if I’m tired of the work after 11 years because “aren’t peoples problems pretty much the same?” Isn’t one divorce the same as the next? One screwed up childhood the same as everyone else’s? I think we long for similarities in life, even the negative, and want to hear that we’re all pretty much the same. I agree with this sentiment.
To that end, I can tell you that the most consistent ‘trouble’ that people of all ages come to me with is the search for happiness. Many books have been written on the topic - check Amazon and you’ll find about 10,000 options - from the great thinkers of the past on through the 20th century to a wide variety of pop psychology. Take your pick as there is something for everyone!
When people come to me and ask the direction they should turn to find happiness in life I give them simple and easy directions because I am not a person who believes in complicating things (Isn’t life pretty complicated anyway?!) …. Here you go and I hope it helps you too:
Practice gratitude in all things. Sometimes I am told that “I have nothing to be grateful for” which I will be the first to tell you is bulls&%$. Everyone has something to be grateful for. Did you wake up on this side of the dirt today? Be grateful! Did you have a hot shower this morning? Did you have breakfast and clean water to drink? Are you employed? If the answer to any of these is ‘yes’ you have something to be grateful for today. Gratitude is not complex - it’s usually right in front of us!
Writing down what you are grateful for every day has been shown to increase a person’s outlook on life and increase happiness. (See resources at the end of this post for more information.)
Focus on the positive. I know, I know, I know that some days this is challenging but we can all find something positive every day to focus on. Perhaps a gaggle of geese crossing the street on your way to work, the family that loves you, friends that are like family, a sunny day, and on and on. Like gratitude, there is always something to be positive about.
A group of kids in my neighborhood recently set up a lemonade stand to raise money for the people of the Bahamas after their devastating summer of hurricanes. KIDS! Just a bunch of kids raising money on a Saturday afternoon when they could have been doing anything at all but chose to do something really meaningful. That’s definitely positive!
Be generous. Generosity has nothing to do with money and everything to do with how you spend your time. You can be generous by simply holding a door open for someone or volunteering. It is the generous gift of yourself and it is 100% free!
Find purpose. Everyone needs a good reason to get up in the morning from little kids to someone who is 100. Find that for yourself! My purpose is my family and I try to be there for each of them in whatever ways they need me. It is also in my work because it is so purposeful. If you don’t have the luxury of a great family or fulfilling work you can find your purpose in other ways, like helping others.
Finally, and most importantly, moderation or balance in all things! This applies to exercise, eating, relaxing, drinking, etc. Just about everything in life is fine as long as it is done in moderation! So, cry a little and laugh a little, drink a little and abstain a little, dance a little and sit still a little … just do it all in moderation!
These simple things, when practiced daily, can make a huge difference in your happiness and in the lives of those you surround yourself with. Cheers to happy days ahead!
For more on happiness check out these websites:
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