I’ve noticed something lately that makes me very happy. I feel like people are nicer than ever before. Some of you may be scratching your heads, saying, “oh, poor thing, she’s really lost her mind now.” But I haven’t lost my mind just reflecting on what I see.
Everywhere I’ve been I’ve noticed that people are going out of their way to hold a door or let someone skootch into traffic. Yea, these are ordinary things, simple things, but things nonetheless that really do add up to big things and make a difference.
The other day I was walking into our Walmart when a rainstorm came out of nowhere. (If you’ve been to the Florida in the spring you know this is a regular occurrence.) I started running across the parking lot to the closest door and a man inside the store opened the door for me to rush in. Simple? Yep. Really nice? Yep! He was an employee on break. When I thanked him he said, “I saw you coming and didn’t want you to get any wetter.” I was very touched by his simple gesture. He made me cry in the best way possible!
I wonder how the world would change if we all decided to assume the best of people. What if we all just decided that people are good? What if we all just decided that everyone is doing the best s/he can? Do you think that could change things? Of course! Simple kindnesses really do make a difference.
When someone pulls out in front of me in traffic, cutting me off, instead of swearing or flipping them off I’ve decided to think that maybe they are in a hurry to get to the hospital to see a sick family member. When the grocery cashier is surly I’ve decided to think that maybe her parents are angry with her and she just got grounded. When I go to a fast food place and the employee barely looks up at me I’ve decided that theirs is a hard job. When I call a government office about something and the person sounds disinterested I’ve decided to be grateful that I don’t have to do their job.
In other words, I am changing the script in my own head. Instead of turning into Negative-Nancy I’ve decided to try and lighten their load by being more accepting of where they might be coming from. My life is good. Very good. I have a wonderful family that I love, I have good friends, I have a fabulous dog (and a psychotic cat), I have a home, I have a really fun car, and I have work that is fulfilling every single day. It is clear to me that many people do not get to luxuriate in these simple joys that are part of my daily life.
Several years ago I had a middle school client who came to my office via her dad. Dad was tired of her “nasty attitude and disrespectful behavior.” He told me, at length, about all of his daughters faults and how ungrateful she was. He told me how she didn’t study or ever do any homework. He went on and on and on. It was painful to watch and painful to hear. I stopped the dad because the whole thing was making me sick. I looked at the girl and said, “What would you like your dad to do different?” In my own head I am expecting her to say “shut-up,” “f-off,” “die.” But she didn’t. She said the simplest thing.
“I just want him to be nicer.”
Holy mackerel! Such a simple idea, such an easy thing to do everyday. A simple thing we can all do every single day! Hold a door, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Smile at people. Use recyclable bags, check on your neighbors, drive the speed limit. Say thanks to an officer or military person. It’s not hard. It is a better place to be.
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