When you reach a certain age, it can be very difficult to make new friends. When I was in my mid-twenties, I moved to a very small town to be closer to my job and husband (boyfriend, at the time).
Small towns are a double-edged sword: once you’re in, you are in- but that takes a while. For several months, I found myself kind of adrift. I knew my boyfriend’s friends, but I felt strongly about making my own connections and relationships.
As an introvert, this presented an interesting challenge. I wanted to meet people, but I didn’t want to actually do anything about it. I wanted to skip the small-talk and get-to-know-you coffees and dive right into the inside jokes and sweatpants movie marathons.
As they say, anything worth having is worth working for, so I did what I hate doing the most: I started joining things. I joined a book club and a play reading group. I took art classes and crafting classes. I asked people at work to set me up on friend-dates.
This was a painful time of adjustment for me. I missed my hometown and being close to my parents (even though I didn’t move that far away). Living with a boy was more challenging than I thought it would be. I felt isolated because I didn’t know my way around town. It was tough.
As time passed, I became more familiar with my surroundings. I found the coffee shops and grocery stores and Mexican restaurants. We compromised around the house and found a happy medium. The clubs and classes started falling by the wayside, but the connections and friendships I made there stuck around.
Eventually, I found a group of people that have become close friends. Nowadays, I can call up some friends for sweatpants movie marathons. It wasn’t always like this- it took hard work and a lot of putting myself out there and trying things out. But it was worth every inch of trying and discomfort to find my tribe.
I am thankful everyday to have found them, and I have a newly found sense of gratitude when new friendships present themselves these days. I encourage you to find your people- life is better when you do. It may be a strange and uncomfortable journey to find them, but you'll be glad you did.
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